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Adhuri si hasratein, aur ye mehenge mehenge khwab..!.

 

Tera meri Zindagi me aana koi ittefaq nahi tha, tu meri zindagi mein kisi toofan ki tarah nahi aayi thi, balki dheere se girti hui baarishon ki tarah, jo shor nahi karti par mitti ki khushboo badal deti hai,aur shayad isi liye tera asar itna gehra hai…

 Kabhi kabhi mujhe lagta hai tu meri zindagi ka woh hissa hai jise kismet ne likha toh tha, par poora likhne ki himmat nahi ki, jaise kahani shuru hui ho gehraai se, lekin anjaam par aakar qalam ki syahi ruk gaya ho…

Tu samajhti bhi hai ya nahi, ke jab tu bas ek chhota sa message bhej deti hai, toh meri poori raat ka lehza badal jaata hai,warna main toh kab ka aadat daal chuka tha andheron aur khamoshiyon ke saath sulah karne ki…

Kabhi kabhi tera bas “theek ho?” pooch lena mere liye kisi dua se kam nahi lagta, jaise is bheed bhari duniya mein kisi ne meri thakaan ko pehchaan kar us par halka sa marham rakh diya ho ,aur yeh ehsaas main bhool nahi pata...

Teri hansi mein jo roshni hai na, woh seedha dil ke us kone tak pahunch jaati hai jahan main apni zid, apna aham, apni saari uljhanon ko chhupa kar rakhta hoon ,aur phir bhi tu bina koshish ke unhe dekh leti hai aur us paar tak chalti hai jahan tak mere sath chalne ka safar shayad koi tay nahi kar paya...

Na tune kabhi mohabbat ka daawa kiya, na maine kabhi dosti ka faisla sunaya, phir bhi hum dono ke darmiyaan ek aisa silsila chal pada jo lafzon se zyada khamoshiyon par tika hua hai, aur woh khamoshi bhi ajeeb tarike se baatein karti hai...

Tu jab door hoti hai na, toh sirf faasla nahi badhta ,mere andar ek khali jagah phail jaati hai, ek khalipan jo shor nahi karta, par har lamhe mehsoos hota hai, jaise rooh se koi zarra nikal kar hawa mein reh gaya ho…

Na main tujhe paane ki zid karta hoon, na tujhe khone ki himmat rakhta hoon, kyunki jo humare darmiyaan hai woh kisi faisle ka mohtaaj nahi, woh toh bas ek lamha hai, ek benaam sa rishta jo iqraar ke bina bhi zinda rehta hai...Jo yakeen dilata hai jo mehsus hua ab tak wo sirf waham nahi tha,balki ek ehsaas tha...

Main maanta hoon yeh rishta benaam hai, thoda sa beqaraar hai, thoda sa lahasil bhi lagta hai, lekin phir bhi ismein ek pani sa bahaaw hai, ek sachchai hai, jo kisi majboori ya zarurat se paida nahi hui, balki bas ho gayi...

Mujhe darr lagta hai apne aur tere ehsaason se, kyunki yeh seedhe aur saaf nahi hain; yeh uljhe hue hain, beqarar hain, aur itne gehre hain ke kabhi kabhi main khud se poochta hoon, kya main tujhe mehsoos karta hoon, ya tere zariye khud ko…

Aur haan kabhi main zyada chup ho jaun, to samajh jana main door nahi ja raha,as apni zid aur jazbaato ko sametne ki koshish kar raha hu,kyuki kuch rishto ka anjaam nahi milta aur adhuri rehni wali hasratein bas insaan ko badal kar chali jati hai..

Par fir bhi tu bas yunhi rehna bejijhak ,belibas jazbaton k sath kyuki zinadagi tamam umra ki hai aur har mulaqat me tujhse thoda sa ishq hota hai,chahe me use kabool karun ya nahi ya sirf dil ke andar mehfooz rakh kar khamosh reh jaun!!!

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